One of my favorite TV shows, though it may be a guilty pleasure, is AWKWARD. And it's been in my head a lot lately, not only because the summer premier is coming up within like, the next week, but also because I've been experiencing the 'Jenna +' phenomenon. And it's ridiculously... shitty... feeling. Yeah.
Basically, there's this girl in my friend group or whatever who I admire, but who always seems to be a step ahead of me. She's more social than I am, has more friends than I do, is more confident (at least outwardly) than me, is just that much prettier than I am. She got into my top choice college, but I didn't. She has a boyfriend, and I don't.
Basically, I'm a little jealous, because that could be me in every way, but it's just not. And I know I should just be accepting of it, because I'm not her and she's not me. I'm an accepting person, I take things as they are and don't try to change them often. But really? This girl is so aggravating... and yet I can't help but want to be her friend.
I've found recently that I can be quite the jealous bitch. It's a saddening revelation, and I really don't like it. Maybe it's not so much jealousy, as much as it is accepting the circumstances, but still not being happy with them. I don't know. I'm not making much sense right now.
And on top of it, I don't think I can be. I think we simply just don't click as individuals; though that may just be my jealousy. Plus, I'm pretty sure her boyfriend pretty much just doesn't like me as a person. Which is dumb, in my opinion, because I haven't done anything to make him dislike me. Ugh. I don't know. I'm so ready to go to college.
CAWLEDGE, I NEED JU.
