I'm Sorry-ology.

I have always been good at having best friends. It's almost always two or three best friends who I can juggle around (with love, of course). Because I'm loyal, I guess. Which could just be a euphimism for territorial and possessive... Possibly jealous, too. I'm like a dog. I have a few good masters, who I love. However. I don't necessarily behave all the time. Sometimes I piss on the floor.

Figuratively, of course.

At the same time, I haven't ever been particularly good at being a best friend. I am easily lead astray and manipulated. It's happened before plenty, and it screws up my relationships to the point where I have to start over completely. Not that I regret those happenings- I'm actually quite glad I was lead astray in retrospect. But still.

I've been wondering a lot to myself lately what I bring to my relationships. I don't feel like it's a lot. I'm a good listener, I suppose. But what else? I feel like I take more than I give, and I don't like that at all. I need to figure out how to be a better friend. For real.

Um.
Yeah.
Mlehhhhh. I've probably already used this song, but I love it so much.

Things I Learned in Europe.

-You should have a license to ride a bike in Copenhagen. (I looked incredibly... American.)

-Wearing black is awesome. On all continents.

-"A day is like a whole life. You start out doing one thing, but end up doing something else, plan to run an errand, but never get there.... And at the end of your life, your whole existence has that same haphazard quality, too. Your whole life has the same shape as a single day." -Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park (Michael Crichton)

-Saying you're going to do something and actually doing it are two very different things.

-Hell will be an airport.

-Always carry a pen.

-True friends stay friends, no matter the circumstances.

-When life seems like a dream, keep sleeping. As long as possible.

-The ocean is actually very salty (I didn't put two and two together until I jumped in.)

-Velociraptors can jump very high, probably.

-Every castle is basically the same.

-The sky is different in Europe, but the stars are the same.

-When you want to do something awesome, you should do it. Because if you sit around waiting for that perfect moment, it won't happen. You have to initiate things, because fate is only there to help keep the ball rolling, not score the goal.

-Life is fucking awesome.

T Minus 4 Hours to Take Off.

An incredible streak of luck has punched me in square in the jaw.
In fact, a good sixty percent of that luck has to deal with a boy. But not just any boy.

AP Psych Boy.
Yes. THE AP Psych Boy.

Who I had a datey-breakfast-thinger with this very morning. And he wants to be a journalist, so I figured I better write something worth actually reading on this blog for once.
Ummmmm. But I don't know what to write about. Honestly, nothing quite that inspirational or insightful runs through my head these days. Other than the whole Bildungsroman-style "live life to the fullest!" stuff. Which, I'll admit, has worked incredibly well for me.
I just hope these lucky coincidences I've been having lately aren't a fluke. I trust in God that they are not... but of course, I wouldn't be me without the mistrusting, speculative part of my brain taking over at least some of the time.

So. Dear AP Psych Boy, if you happen to read this:
Though I told you I love to write, I will leave it up to your sound judgement whether or not I actually am good at it. And if I'm not, well. I suppose I'll just keep writing blogs about stupid teenage girl stuff, like boys, money, and Germany, and not caring about whether I sound like a naive little fool. (:

Come What May.

I'm such a little girl when it comes to liking a boy. I have flutterbies in my stomach, and I feel like I should be reading some guide book so I know exactly how to act and what to say... But so far, just being me has gotten me pretty far. And it's about damn time, considering "just be you!" has been my dating motto since a very unsuccessful middle school and fairly unsuccessful high school run.

I shouldn't say that all of high school was unsuccessful. The later half was definitely a lot better than freshman and sophomore year. But right now? Right now life is pretty awesome.
I wish I could give more details, but I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed! And I love admitting it! Because I have butterflies in my stomach and I blush and smile when I think about him!

On the other hand, I need to calm the fuck down.
Because that romantic side of me is going waaaaay overboard. And I need to think realistically.
But last night I thanked God many a time. Because He's guided me through this better than "the Smart Girls Guide to Boys" ever could. Just saying.

I'm a freshman! No longer is high school Paige going to be held back. Um. Yeah.
Wow, this is a really sad song for how good I'm feeling... But I love it anyways.