Today, during a terribly boring freshman orientation, I had good luck. And this was before I even got the fortune cookie from my dinner saying "good luck is coming your way." But I'll start from the beginning.
First of all, I got placed in a group of pretty great people- the arts people. Awhhh yeahh. No, but honestly, I forgot how great being in a community of artists is (seeing as the last time I was in an art's school was a year and a half ago now).
Second of all, in this group of people, I had a very good friend that I already knew as a 'mentor,' a newer friend through a music camp that I already knew, and there were several people I met who could easily become my friends. If I choose to actually pursue those friendships once the school year starts. I don't see why not, but you know, Orientation friends never end up being real friends... At least in my experience.
Third of all, of these potential friends, there were at least two very attractive boys. Film majors, to be exact. And I didn't even chicken out on meeting them! I walked right up to Film boy #1 and started conversation, introduced myself, and we ate together. Film boy #2 was in my trivia group, and I not only openly smiled at him, but introduced myself and sat next to him during a boring lecture on financial aid. I feel quite accomplished. I don't know if it's my new hair cut/dye, or the whole 'starting over' feeling that I'm getting from this college ordeal, or what. But I am feeling pretty good about everything right now.
I think it's true. Luck is coming my way. Even if it's just a silly self fulfilling prophecy.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Over-Romantic Syndrome?
When does an overactive imagination become... schizophrenia/PMD/stupid bullshit?
For some reason, the idea of a college dropout is semi-romantic to me. Not that I would EVER do such a thing. A high school drop out is a pathetic idea to me, but dropping out of college because of money issues, or because of bad grades after trying to be a successful college kid seems transcendental. You're just another college drop out. You're small and insignificant in the universe. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, as depressing as it may be/feel.
I've been trying to write a song about it.
I've been writing songs lately! Well, kind of. I picked up the ukelele that my mom bought me when she went to Florida for Christmas a few years ago. It's nice. I'm finally writing music again. Kinda.
On a separate tangent, it's nice to trick yourself into being in love for a while. I mean. That may seem overly dramaticromanticwhattheshit, but. Yeah. Falling asleep and just picturing a specific face in your head, and just smiling about him... It's nice. Even when it isn't real. At all. And then you wake up and it's gone! No legitimate falling in love or heartbreak needed. Disclaimer: You shouldn't, however, do this often, I feel. That could lead to some serious mental issues.
I need to go get my meds refilled. Oofta. ^^;
For some reason, the idea of a college dropout is semi-romantic to me. Not that I would EVER do such a thing. A high school drop out is a pathetic idea to me, but dropping out of college because of money issues, or because of bad grades after trying to be a successful college kid seems transcendental. You're just another college drop out. You're small and insignificant in the universe. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, as depressing as it may be/feel.
I've been trying to write a song about it.
I've been writing songs lately! Well, kind of. I picked up the ukelele that my mom bought me when she went to Florida for Christmas a few years ago. It's nice. I'm finally writing music again. Kinda.
On a separate tangent, it's nice to trick yourself into being in love for a while. I mean. That may seem overly dramaticromanticwhattheshit, but. Yeah. Falling asleep and just picturing a specific face in your head, and just smiling about him... It's nice. Even when it isn't real. At all. And then you wake up and it's gone! No legitimate falling in love or heartbreak needed. Disclaimer: You shouldn't, however, do this often, I feel. That could lead to some serious mental issues.
I need to go get my meds refilled. Oofta. ^^;
Sunday, July 1, 2012
I'm Gonna Make Him- er, it- Mine.
Sometimes, fate throws you a piece of candy from its float.
After a wonderful week in Madison at the Summer Music Clinic, grad parties last night and today, and semi-flirting/making eye contact and smiling at an attractive boy, I'd say that I'm in a pretty good mood. It's just weird because I don't know what to... do next. I don't know. I'm so happy, but I have a feeling that life and reality are ready to come crashing down on me at any moment.
And that boy? Happened to be AP Psych Boy. And though I didn't really say hello or introduce myself like I maybe should have, The fact that I caught him glancing at me while I quickly glanced at him, and he tried to be a part of my conversation at a grad party, and he seemed to be impressed and admiring of my double major in music and psych... It's just really great. When I was a sophomore, I called it 'my heart pumping hope.' Now, I've realized, it's just excitement. Life is exciting now. It's so precious. Which is scary. Because I want it to stay that way.
My granddad is dieing. He had an aneurism like, a decade ago, and two heart attacks this week alone, along with kidney failure and pneumonia. I don't know the guy at all, and I know he's not exactly a hero or a good man, but still. It gets to you. Mortality is freaky shit. Ugh. I hope I'm living my life to the fullest, I'd feel guilty if I weren't. I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of not having an impact in life.
After a wonderful week in Madison at the Summer Music Clinic, grad parties last night and today, and semi-flirting/making eye contact and smiling at an attractive boy, I'd say that I'm in a pretty good mood. It's just weird because I don't know what to... do next. I don't know. I'm so happy, but I have a feeling that life and reality are ready to come crashing down on me at any moment.
And that boy? Happened to be AP Psych Boy. And though I didn't really say hello or introduce myself like I maybe should have, The fact that I caught him glancing at me while I quickly glanced at him, and he tried to be a part of my conversation at a grad party, and he seemed to be impressed and admiring of my double major in music and psych... It's just really great. When I was a sophomore, I called it 'my heart pumping hope.' Now, I've realized, it's just excitement. Life is exciting now. It's so precious. Which is scary. Because I want it to stay that way.
My granddad is dieing. He had an aneurism like, a decade ago, and two heart attacks this week alone, along with kidney failure and pneumonia. I don't know the guy at all, and I know he's not exactly a hero or a good man, but still. It gets to you. Mortality is freaky shit. Ugh. I hope I'm living my life to the fullest, I'd feel guilty if I weren't. I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of not having an impact in life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)