Yet another list, because I don't want to put in the effort of describing things in full sentences after writing a three page paper on Jascha Heifetz.
1. AP Psych Boy is now my boyfriend/Mr. Right (so far). (Oh my God. Dream come true. Just saying.)
2. College isn't hard, it's tedious. Which is hard, but in a way they don't warn you about.
3. I'm over 100 lbs. for the first time in three years. (YESH.)
4. I eat a lot of fish these days, because I want Omega 3s so I have shapely hips and smart babies.
5. I'm hungry...
6. After two months of dawdling in my dorm room, or hanging out with Mr. Right-so-far, I'm finally making college buddies.
7. I really miss my high school buddies. And my sister. And my mom. Especially the latter two.
8. I still talk about Europe like I'm some high class cosmopolite, even though I was only there for two weeks, and I am faaaaar from high class...
9. They don't lie about being broke in college.
10. I wish it would snow already, because I'm tired of dead leaves.
ALSOOOOOOO....
Actually, fuck it, I don't know.
I'm really hungry though.
Chai me, babe.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
I'm Sorry-ology.
I have always been good at having best friends. It's almost always two or three best friends who I can juggle around (with love, of course). Because I'm loyal, I guess. Which could just be a euphimism for territorial and possessive... Possibly jealous, too. I'm like a dog. I have a few good masters, who I love. However. I don't necessarily behave all the time. Sometimes I piss on the floor.
Figuratively, of course.
At the same time, I haven't ever been particularly good at being a best friend. I am easily lead astray and manipulated. It's happened before plenty, and it screws up my relationships to the point where I have to start over completely. Not that I regret those happenings- I'm actually quite glad I was lead astray in retrospect. But still.
I've been wondering a lot to myself lately what I bring to my relationships. I don't feel like it's a lot. I'm a good listener, I suppose. But what else? I feel like I take more than I give, and I don't like that at all. I need to figure out how to be a better friend. For real.
Um.
Yeah.
Mlehhhhh. I've probably already used this song, but I love it so much.
Figuratively, of course.
At the same time, I haven't ever been particularly good at being a best friend. I am easily lead astray and manipulated. It's happened before plenty, and it screws up my relationships to the point where I have to start over completely. Not that I regret those happenings- I'm actually quite glad I was lead astray in retrospect. But still.
I've been wondering a lot to myself lately what I bring to my relationships. I don't feel like it's a lot. I'm a good listener, I suppose. But what else? I feel like I take more than I give, and I don't like that at all. I need to figure out how to be a better friend. For real.
Um.
Yeah.
Mlehhhhh. I've probably already used this song, but I love it so much.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Things I Learned in Europe.
-You should have a license to ride a bike in Copenhagen. (I looked incredibly... American.)
-Wearing black is awesome. On all continents.
-"A day is like a whole life. You start out doing one thing, but end up doing something else, plan to run an errand, but never get there.... And at the end of your life, your whole existence has that same haphazard quality, too. Your whole life has the same shape as a single day." -Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park (Michael Crichton)
-Saying you're going to do something and actually doing it are two very different things.
-Hell will be an airport.
-Always carry a pen.
-True friends stay friends, no matter the circumstances.
-When life seems like a dream, keep sleeping. As long as possible.
-The ocean is actually very salty (I didn't put two and two together until I jumped in.)
-Velociraptors can jump very high, probably.
-Every castle is basically the same.
-The sky is different in Europe, but the stars are the same.
-When you want to do something awesome, you should do it. Because if you sit around waiting for that perfect moment, it won't happen. You have to initiate things, because fate is only there to help keep the ball rolling, not score the goal.
-Life is fucking awesome.
-Wearing black is awesome. On all continents.
-"A day is like a whole life. You start out doing one thing, but end up doing something else, plan to run an errand, but never get there.... And at the end of your life, your whole existence has that same haphazard quality, too. Your whole life has the same shape as a single day." -Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park (Michael Crichton)
-Saying you're going to do something and actually doing it are two very different things.
-Hell will be an airport.
-Always carry a pen.
-True friends stay friends, no matter the circumstances.
-When life seems like a dream, keep sleeping. As long as possible.
-The ocean is actually very salty (I didn't put two and two together until I jumped in.)
-Velociraptors can jump very high, probably.
-Every castle is basically the same.
-The sky is different in Europe, but the stars are the same.
-When you want to do something awesome, you should do it. Because if you sit around waiting for that perfect moment, it won't happen. You have to initiate things, because fate is only there to help keep the ball rolling, not score the goal.
-Life is fucking awesome.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
T Minus 4 Hours to Take Off.
An incredible streak of luck has punched me in square in the jaw.
In fact, a good sixty percent of that luck has to deal with a boy. But not just any boy.
AP Psych Boy.
Yes. THE AP Psych Boy.
Who I had a datey-breakfast-thinger with this very morning. And he wants to be a journalist, so I figured I better write something worth actually reading on this blog for once.
Ummmmm. But I don't know what to write about. Honestly, nothing quite that inspirational or insightful runs through my head these days. Other than the whole Bildungsroman-style "live life to the fullest!" stuff. Which, I'll admit, has worked incredibly well for me.
I just hope these lucky coincidences I've been having lately aren't a fluke. I trust in God that they are not... but of course, I wouldn't be me without the mistrusting, speculative part of my brain taking over at least some of the time.
So. Dear AP Psych Boy, if you happen to read this:
Though I told you I love to write, I will leave it up to your sound judgement whether or not I actually am good at it. And if I'm not, well. I suppose I'll just keep writing blogs about stupid teenage girl stuff, like boys, money, and Germany, and not caring about whether I sound like a naive little fool. (:
In fact, a good sixty percent of that luck has to deal with a boy. But not just any boy.
AP Psych Boy.
Yes. THE AP Psych Boy.
Who I had a datey-breakfast-thinger with this very morning. And he wants to be a journalist, so I figured I better write something worth actually reading on this blog for once.
Ummmmm. But I don't know what to write about. Honestly, nothing quite that inspirational or insightful runs through my head these days. Other than the whole Bildungsroman-style "live life to the fullest!" stuff. Which, I'll admit, has worked incredibly well for me.
I just hope these lucky coincidences I've been having lately aren't a fluke. I trust in God that they are not... but of course, I wouldn't be me without the mistrusting, speculative part of my brain taking over at least some of the time.
So. Dear AP Psych Boy, if you happen to read this:
Though I told you I love to write, I will leave it up to your sound judgement whether or not I actually am good at it. And if I'm not, well. I suppose I'll just keep writing blogs about stupid teenage girl stuff, like boys, money, and Germany, and not caring about whether I sound like a naive little fool. (:
Monday, August 6, 2012
Come What May.
I'm such a little girl when it comes to liking a boy. I have flutterbies in my stomach, and I feel like I should be reading some guide book so I know exactly how to act and what to say... But so far, just being me has gotten me pretty far. And it's about damn time, considering "just be you!" has been my dating motto since a very unsuccessful middle school and fairly unsuccessful high school run.
I shouldn't say that all of high school was unsuccessful. The later half was definitely a lot better than freshman and sophomore year. But right now? Right now life is pretty awesome.
I wish I could give more details, but I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed! And I love admitting it! Because I have butterflies in my stomach and I blush and smile when I think about him!
On the other hand, I need to calm the fuck down.
Because that romantic side of me is going waaaaay overboard. And I need to think realistically.
But last night I thanked God many a time. Because He's guided me through this better than "the Smart Girls Guide to Boys" ever could. Just saying.
I'm a freshman! No longer is high school Paige going to be held back. Um. Yeah.
Wow, this is a really sad song for how good I'm feeling... But I love it anyways.
I shouldn't say that all of high school was unsuccessful. The later half was definitely a lot better than freshman and sophomore year. But right now? Right now life is pretty awesome.
I wish I could give more details, but I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed! And I love admitting it! Because I have butterflies in my stomach and I blush and smile when I think about him!
On the other hand, I need to calm the fuck down.
Because that romantic side of me is going waaaaay overboard. And I need to think realistically.
But last night I thanked God many a time. Because He's guided me through this better than "the Smart Girls Guide to Boys" ever could. Just saying.
I'm a freshman! No longer is high school Paige going to be held back. Um. Yeah.
Wow, this is a really sad song for how good I'm feeling... But I love it anyways.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
O, Fortuna! (Cookies)
Today, during a terribly boring freshman orientation, I had good luck. And this was before I even got the fortune cookie from my dinner saying "good luck is coming your way." But I'll start from the beginning.
First of all, I got placed in a group of pretty great people- the arts people. Awhhh yeahh. No, but honestly, I forgot how great being in a community of artists is (seeing as the last time I was in an art's school was a year and a half ago now).
Second of all, in this group of people, I had a very good friend that I already knew as a 'mentor,' a newer friend through a music camp that I already knew, and there were several people I met who could easily become my friends. If I choose to actually pursue those friendships once the school year starts. I don't see why not, but you know, Orientation friends never end up being real friends... At least in my experience.
Third of all, of these potential friends, there were at least two very attractive boys. Film majors, to be exact. And I didn't even chicken out on meeting them! I walked right up to Film boy #1 and started conversation, introduced myself, and we ate together. Film boy #2 was in my trivia group, and I not only openly smiled at him, but introduced myself and sat next to him during a boring lecture on financial aid. I feel quite accomplished. I don't know if it's my new hair cut/dye, or the whole 'starting over' feeling that I'm getting from this college ordeal, or what. But I am feeling pretty good about everything right now.
I think it's true. Luck is coming my way. Even if it's just a silly self fulfilling prophecy.
First of all, I got placed in a group of pretty great people- the arts people. Awhhh yeahh. No, but honestly, I forgot how great being in a community of artists is (seeing as the last time I was in an art's school was a year and a half ago now).
Second of all, in this group of people, I had a very good friend that I already knew as a 'mentor,' a newer friend through a music camp that I already knew, and there were several people I met who could easily become my friends. If I choose to actually pursue those friendships once the school year starts. I don't see why not, but you know, Orientation friends never end up being real friends... At least in my experience.
Third of all, of these potential friends, there were at least two very attractive boys. Film majors, to be exact. And I didn't even chicken out on meeting them! I walked right up to Film boy #1 and started conversation, introduced myself, and we ate together. Film boy #2 was in my trivia group, and I not only openly smiled at him, but introduced myself and sat next to him during a boring lecture on financial aid. I feel quite accomplished. I don't know if it's my new hair cut/dye, or the whole 'starting over' feeling that I'm getting from this college ordeal, or what. But I am feeling pretty good about everything right now.
I think it's true. Luck is coming my way. Even if it's just a silly self fulfilling prophecy.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Over-Romantic Syndrome?
When does an overactive imagination become... schizophrenia/PMD/stupid bullshit?
For some reason, the idea of a college dropout is semi-romantic to me. Not that I would EVER do such a thing. A high school drop out is a pathetic idea to me, but dropping out of college because of money issues, or because of bad grades after trying to be a successful college kid seems transcendental. You're just another college drop out. You're small and insignificant in the universe. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, as depressing as it may be/feel.
I've been trying to write a song about it.
I've been writing songs lately! Well, kind of. I picked up the ukelele that my mom bought me when she went to Florida for Christmas a few years ago. It's nice. I'm finally writing music again. Kinda.
On a separate tangent, it's nice to trick yourself into being in love for a while. I mean. That may seem overly dramaticromanticwhattheshit, but. Yeah. Falling asleep and just picturing a specific face in your head, and just smiling about him... It's nice. Even when it isn't real. At all. And then you wake up and it's gone! No legitimate falling in love or heartbreak needed. Disclaimer: You shouldn't, however, do this often, I feel. That could lead to some serious mental issues.
I need to go get my meds refilled. Oofta. ^^;
For some reason, the idea of a college dropout is semi-romantic to me. Not that I would EVER do such a thing. A high school drop out is a pathetic idea to me, but dropping out of college because of money issues, or because of bad grades after trying to be a successful college kid seems transcendental. You're just another college drop out. You're small and insignificant in the universe. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, as depressing as it may be/feel.
I've been trying to write a song about it.
I've been writing songs lately! Well, kind of. I picked up the ukelele that my mom bought me when she went to Florida for Christmas a few years ago. It's nice. I'm finally writing music again. Kinda.
On a separate tangent, it's nice to trick yourself into being in love for a while. I mean. That may seem overly dramaticromanticwhattheshit, but. Yeah. Falling asleep and just picturing a specific face in your head, and just smiling about him... It's nice. Even when it isn't real. At all. And then you wake up and it's gone! No legitimate falling in love or heartbreak needed. Disclaimer: You shouldn't, however, do this often, I feel. That could lead to some serious mental issues.
I need to go get my meds refilled. Oofta. ^^;
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